A mask.

I pretend I’m okay. I pretend I got over you. But it’s a mask. A mask of smiling and laughing over the face of sadness and crying. I smile when I remember your smile, I chuckle when I think about your laugh. But then I remember the words you said when we spoke for the last time:

“I love you but you have to forget about me.. Delete my pictures and delete my emails. Forget about me, we need to move on with our lives. You’re there and I’m here. It will never work out. So forget about me. ‘cause that’s what I’m trying to do…”

My eyes fill up with tears every time I think about those words. I know you’re right. That I should forget about you, but it’s so hard. You’re all I can think about… You’re smile, your laugh, your eyes, your lips but most of all our conversations.

All I want is our conversations back. ‘Cause every time we were speaking nobody could break my day. It’s something a girl needs. But you’re right. I should forget about you. And I’m trying, I really am. I don’t look at your picture that much, I just see it every time I close my eyes. I’m not hoping you would return, no I’m dreaming it. You’re the ghost in my dreams. You’re always there and always unreachable. But your right.
So I’m trying to forget about you. It will take a while and until I forgot about you, until then I have to pretend I already did. And maybe, maybe I will start believing it myself after a while.

Who knows right?
25 mrt 2010 - meld ongepast verhaal
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Therestory, vrouw, 30 jaar
   
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