Destroy

I dont know... if this ever gonna be allright.


I still love you. But i don't love that other side of you.
i tought maybe i could try, try to fix you.
days become weeks, weeks become months, months became years.
and still i believed that you've changed, you did, but bad habits that have been always there, can not just change in 2 years, maybe i need to give it some time.. but what if it costs my life? your bad habits take over me.. and you don't know.. maybe you have to go for several weeks, maybe that would help us..
i can't take this any longer.. i suffocate..

but you have 2 sides.. like everyone else. good and bad, white and black..

The good side is. that you help me out sometimes, help other people without judging. The friendly polite side, the one who says that i am beautiful, even when i look like shit. Who makes you feel good about yourself. The active side, who takes me by the hand for a walk.


The other side is what is killing me, its like a dark cloud hanging above you, above us..
The one who makes desicions without thinking..
The one who starts drinking after he comes home and bareley eat, take good care of yourself.
The one who can't talk serious without having a drink, ignores confrontation and drinks even more.
forget important things, don't take action when you really have to.
If i say something, you feel offendend, smokes a lot, destroy's himself without knowing.

you've already came far..
you were depressed, wanted to kill yourself..
you came here and it changed.. i can tell, you want to live your life..
but there is still a part that wants to take over, wants to destroy, you slowly doing it,
without any notice.. i am still here to tell you,

it's okay..



it kills me to see you like this..

i really don't know i can live like this any longer..

i don't know if i can be in a relationship like this.

but i do fucking love you..


and love, i have problems too..
i need to fix it, but how can i fix it,
if al the weight is on me?