Failure

You're a support for me, and you know that. I care about you to, and I care that u care about me. It means a lot to me, that somebody cares about me. I don't have got many people who care about me. So I'm glad you do. I'm not used somebody cares about me. Cause I've got the feeling I'm not that important, that I'm useless. But... there's not always something wrong when I feel down. Most of the time I've got some kind of a flashback.... back to 2 years ago... and... then I just don't feel fine, I feel fucked up. It gives me pain, just to think of it. I can carry that pain, it's no problem, But it makes me a little, or very, angry. cause there are so many questions, why?, why me?, how come?, etc. But .... I want to do things on my own. Some kind of proof myself. Proof that I can live without anybody, that I can live with pain. But I know it wouldn't be possible, living without people... but then I want to proof I can live with the pain. And I know I can handle that. And if somebody wants me to share my feelings, share my pain, It's like they want me to fail my mission.

*to Rik, from Me*
[Cause He always want I share my Feelings with him]
[Cause He always want I share my stories with him]
[It's ok, Cause I know he just do it because he cares about me]
[But I don't want to talk, don't want to share... Not always]
14 mei 2004 - bewerkt op 14 mei 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
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Profielfoto van AiksaS
AiksaS, vrouw, 35 jaar
   
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