FUCK FUCK FUCK

what the fuck
i feel shitty
oh well that is so fucking normal
but after these few days
it is like it was not here at all
i feel fucked
scared
i scratched open my hands till they bled
and it felt like burns
and it makes me go mad
i attended to them
the wounds on my hand
but it still does not
feel right
like there is more
more to hurt
and i do not want this
yet it feels so good
i do not want this
the silent me
the silent pain
the hurt
the lonelyness
i do not want
any of this
the happyness
the joy
the laughter
i do not want
any thing any more
my hand hurts
and all i want
is to hurt more
to feel the pain and slowly suffer
go insane
i want no one to be near
nor do i want to be alone
this hell is my life
and i can not take much more
i think i will hit a wall
hit myself
bruse my body
bruse my mind
bruse my self
for all that i am
and i know
i won't find any bruses in the morning
because there is not much left
of what i once was
of what i thought i was
a few days ago
i am empty and desolate
void of the feelings i once had
it is all gone now
i am but a shell
sitting here
writing
insted of hurting
because some care for this shell
this empty broken man
the lost soul who lost all will
to do any thing
insted of doing
the shell sits and bleeds
the colorless blood
for it is even empty
of all passion
no red blood in my shell
no need for any of that
it is clear as water
and sharp as glass
and it hurts
when it is dry and broken
and it will get worse
i feel like shit
without any thing to do
without hopes and dreams
because there is nothing
nothing for me
nothing left
because of some stupid rules
you may not cut
you may not hurt
you may not love
you may not desert
i may not do any thing
because it will make matters worse
because they worry
because they suffer
and there is no hope for me
and there is no hope inside
there is nothing of value
that keeps me going
it is just
a silent breathing
that keeps me going
i need a joint
i need a drink
but i may not
because i might sink
because i might burn
and you will have nothing
no reply to return
i am stuck
and she hates me
and she burns me
and she deserts me
and she kills me
and she leaves me
and she regrets me
and she forgets me

and i
can't blame her

i hate myself and want to die
and that
that would make too many of you
Cry

oh dear friend
please come by and say hello
leave me again and again
but please let me know
you wil come
and get me out
this shit filled life
and this desolate place
this forgotten hell
that no one knows
leave me dead
so they know
i did not die
for nothing
gemeenverliefd
19 sep 2004 - bewerkt op 19 sep 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
Weet je zeker dat je dit verhaal wilt rapporteren? Ja | Nee
Profielfoto van monster
monster, man, 47 jaar
   
Log in om een reactie te plaatsen.   vorige volgende