have i found myself?

what the fuck is this shit ?
am i inlove or is it just a crush
am i fucked up about a girl or am i just lonely
and i will call it the girl
and i don't care
because i shake and tremble
i shave and dress up
and i am foolish and dumb
hell no not near being numb
but i realize the horrid things within
i never finished any thing
i never did anything good
i always walked out on everyone
i could never finish the job
i could never finish in the race
at least good guys finish last
i will never finish
i am tooo foolish

and yes i know
this is another craze
am i inlove or stuck in this crush
i don't know but she does
enter my every thought and dream
it is not fun
when you smell the smells
here the silent words
and know
there is nothing
no one
but it was a nice dream
it truely was
atleast i think it was
oh well just forget it
i will never be able to finish the dream
it will most likely finish me
i dream of things that can not be
it will kill me
kill me
before there is an other dream of lobotomy
kill me before i can't feel a thing
it would be a shame
to meet me when i am all fucked up and numb
kill me before it happens
and know i will love in death
all my love is forbidden
all my love is imposible
i will not fight no longer
i am tired
and just woke up from an otehr nightmare
but at least you were in there somewhere !
verliefd
03 okt 2004 - bewerkt op 10 apr 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
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monster, man, 47 jaar
   
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