I'm scared.

I don't know whats wrong with me. My mom doesn't talk to me but she talks to my sister, every time my dad asks me if I'm ok I say I'm fine but I want to scream out I'm not. I am so used to thinking but I can't speak out any of my thoughts. When I do I smile, and my family ask me why I do that, I say "I dont know" but I really do, its just I dont know how to explain it. I guess I am happy speaking out a thought instead of holding it in all the time. My family says "If I dont speak out more and keep all my thoughts in you'll become crazy." Crazy. A word I hate of what people think of me, say about me. My own family says that about me. Crazy. "If you get locked up in jail one of us is going to have to bail you out!" They joked. But for me I took that seriously. What if that happens. What if I actually hurt someone just of because my mental health. What if I kill someone!?! I'm so scared of what will happen to me, to my family and friends. I dont want to tell my friends because I'm scared I might lose them because they think I am crazy. I dont have many, for a good reason because its hard to get real ones. I am scared of losing everything I have because of my mental health. Please someone help me before I
26 jun 2013 - meld ongepast verhaal
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Profielfoto van Mayabella
Mayabella, vrouw, 26 jaar
   
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