Leuke tweets

Af en toe zie ik op Twitter zeer grappige of gevatte tweets staan, maar zijn ze geen facebook-materiaal. Ik wil jullie deze verzameling toch niet onthouden:

"It takes 43 muscles to frown, and yet it's still not an Olympic event. Ridiculous."

"If you never jumped from one couch to another to save yourself from the lava, then you didn't have a childhood."

"The less you give a fuck, the happier you will be."

"I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank."

"If one forces sex upon a prostitute.... is it considered rape or shoplifting?"

"School is like a boner. It's long and hard...unless your Asian."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo, don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage but waving at you."

"Feed the homeless to the hungry. Two problems solved."

"Zou tof zijn als je ook echt aan kunt bellen bij mensen op Google Street View. En dan heel hard weg scrollen. Naar Afrika bijvoorbeeld."

"I hate when people compare Eminem to God. I mean, he's good, but he's no Eminem."

"Dear everyone, Hello Kitty isn't a virgin anymore. Sincerely, Garfield"

"Alcohol isn't a problem, it's a solution... Just ask any chemist."

"We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity."

Q