Love

What if you get better
But that better isn't in time for me
What if you're only better for the next woman that you see
Something about taxes lights suddenly on
Why can we only appreciate someone once they're fully gone?
What if you get better and that makes me feel worse?
Is that still love then?
If jealousy hides next to lipbalm in my purse
Because I'm disappointed you're not the person I created in my head
And I trusted too deeply before I saw where that trust led
So I went back to Miss Universe
Said "let me see what could have been true"
I don't require much
Please just one more dream of you
And suddenly I wake up
I guess I fell asleep in your car
But we haven't moved much
The road doesn't go very far
There's caution signs everywhere
Stop lights detours to see
At the very end of the scenic road
There's a person
Wait, that's me
And she opens up the car door
Blows a kiss to the man inside
Tells me to get the hell out of my imagination
Which to me has always lied
And I tell her "but we'll be stranded, there's no one else who will come"
She says "stop being so dramatic, I promise you he's not the one"
And I'm dumbfounded on a dirt road
"What do you mean, what do you know?"
"You really think your soulmate would risk letting you go?"
What if your better is not the best that you could be?
What if him getting better is just a deflective block you choose to see?
Because none of this is for you
A hard truth to swallow
Would you still be proud of your footsteps
If all of your future daughters were to follow?
Because if you stay with him, they won't even exist
The dream life you've been working for
Of none of this would consist
You're so stubborn and set on a rose mixed into cement
If your dream man were to hurt you, don't you think he'd at least repent?
And then she gets into a car that I'm too anxious to drive
When do you grow out of being the person you became just to survive?
She starts driving so fast, I feel nauseated by the speed
The roof of the car folds down
"A day with me, that's what you need"
And her hair flows so freely
Her smile brightens the sky
This is who you could be if you let yourself say goodbye
But I try to turn back
She turns at the corner
We pass a sobbing version
"Well, I tried to warn her.."
And the laugh she unleashes is so free of worry
"I'll go back for her eventually, but some lessons even I can't hurry"
And then in a second without knowing what or how
She parks, throws me the keys
"This is your life now"
Because what if I got better
And the time was right for me
What if I was loved for more
Than just the woman I've settled to be