make no promis you can't keep

i wanted but i can't
now there is peace
but war inside
with all the fighting
munitions lay scattered
and it is a mine field
in my head
it is peace
but still i fall
victim to wasted amunitions
things that were not discovered
weapons that fell but did not explode
untill after the war
untill after the peace agrement

i am in a minefield
and i want to get across
in one piece
but it is dangerous
because every mine and unexploded amunition
has a tag
which calls a name
before impact

in this war
not unlike any other
i shot myself many times
so not to hit you
and who cares
who saw where i fired
they only saw that i fired
but never at whom i fired

you did after my attack
fired bombarded me
and kept pounding me
even when i tried
to explain
i shot myself many times
just not to shoot you
but you saw only me shooting
not realizing i was missing you
because i did not aim at you
anymore

and still the bombardments kept going
and now i am in these fields
killing fields
trying to get to you
to sign this peace
but i hate myself for what i have become
and i will try to get un damaged to you
but i will fail
i will or get hurt by amunitions from you
or my own

and it does not matter any more
i will die inside
if you don't chopper me out
soon

i can not promis
that things will be allright

i did it to myself

sui, man, 47 jaar

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