Memory

Memories.. I have loads of memories. Who hasn't? It's too bad I've got a lot of painfull memories. Memories I'd rather forget. Memories I hide. Every day, every minute. They're my secret. My painfull past. My painfull history. But I think the nice memories are the most painfull.

I hate thinking about you. I hate remembering you. I hate memories about us. I'm getting over you, I'm sure about that. I don't want you back, I know that. But I saw a picture. A picture of us. A us that never excisted. I have wanted you for two whole years. For two whole years I chased you, knowing you'd never want me. And I see that picture. Me laying on your chest, smiling, eyes closed, peacefull. You holding me, looking down on me, with a tiny smile on your face. We looked sweet. Together. It's a picture that shows what I've always wanted, but never got. It shows something that didnt excist. It's a lie. A lie I believed for years.
The memory hurts. The memory burns. It still aches. I don't think it will fade soon. It's something that takes time. I still can't believe myself. What I excepted, what I allowed, what I took, what I forgave you. I still can't believe you. What you did to me, how you mistreated me, how you burned me to the ground, how you broke my every feeling, my every hope.






And then she whispered; How can you do this to me..?