piss me off

maybe it is just me
maybe i am not in the mood
maybe i am just irritated
maybe i just want all to fall apart
maybe i want to
without any one being hurt
without any one noticing
i hate this
this nothingness
this never ending whining
i just want
peace
no more war
no more love
no more
nothing

i just stop
no more chit chat
no more bull shit talk
it is empty
when you say you care
and i can not feel a thing

like the ghost in my head
she wants me dead
she hates me
tortures me
i can not find love
she denies me all of that
she ruins me from the inside
she ruins me
i am unable
to love
that is what keeps repeating
that is what constantly shows
because when ever i love
she forces herself
upon me
and sucks all the love out of me
i can not fight this
i can not take this
it pisses me off

i can not love

i can only torment my self
over and over again
running away
hiding
back in the shadows
where people think of me
as if i am
not there

i am next to nothing
less than this
i am

not blind
not the rest of you
i can not mingle
i can not be happy
i can not be
and those who saw me
know all to well
i can not be
me
30 nov 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
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sui, man, 47 jaar
   
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