So much going on

So much going on in this world. In my mind. Not one moment rest. Everything's spinning. A black cloud around me. Who's that girl inside me. Is it really me of somebody I wanna be? I dont know. I dont know a thing. Do what I'm suppose to. Say what I'm suppose to. I dont care. I wanna live, I really do. But it's all so difficult. Yes, I can walk with a smile on my face. Yes, I can have the fun people see. But always the tears in my heart. It is broken to a million pieces and I cant fix it. Yes, the love of my soulmate helps. It has glued like a thousand pieces together. But there still thousands of pieces left. Just want to live my life. Dont want to feel the pain anymore. A voice is telling me I'm useless, worthless. That I only hurt the peolpe I love so much. That I only bring troubles with me. My heart is so hard crieng. I know where I'm fighting for. I know that I can make it. I know it all, but my heart hurts so much. Can't get rid of the voice inside of my head that's pulling me down. I am going to make it. I know it for sure. I have to make it. But my heartaches are still here. Something is pulling me down. Something is hunting me. For now I'm strong enough, I can feel it. But I'm afraid that it will find me. That it's gonna kill me. My soul knows it won't find me. My mind knows it won't find me. But my heart is afraid. And for so long I've been listening to my heart that my heart still scares me. It's causing my moodwings that are useless. My heart has got to listen to my mind and to my soul. They are right. Dont want to be afraid for what my heart is feeling...

*cinta*, vrouw, 35 jaar

• Tinkgirlin maandag 17 oktober 2005 13:52
  
  You're going to make it, your heart is going to be healed, because you're around people who don't want to hurt you, so your heart can recover from all the pain it suffered
  And one day you're heart will be healed and it will be singing of joy
  --->> dat ben jij
  

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