the days i died

i've lost my life so many times
did not care to go on
did not care to defend myself
did not care at all

but in the last moments
i reminded me, she will be scared
she can't deal with my death
so i fought to stay here
all the times i burned like a raging fire
all the times i got shot and killed,
i fought to stay alive
because she would not dare to sleep
one night after.

even so far out
i more than once fell to my knees
and prayed
more than once i died
and saw my decay
only to fight with god to return
only to fight with the demons i held so dear
to keep me alive
keep me here
just because of her
my love filled with fear

i can not tell her
i can not show
only when i die
and she will know

when i lost my daughter
when i lost my lust
you must have known
and seen the broken soul

they want me dead
and they tried many times
for only one thing they fear
for us to be
near.

they fear me doing magic
playing the games i know best
every temptation is test
every solution a jest
i am wretched
i have no rest.

sweet love sweet love
dear love sweet love
i am nothing
worthless piece of junk
love sweet love
dear love sweet love
if i could show my heart
i'd put it on display
but it is wretched and broken
shattered and torn
and when it falls together again
there will be nothing in the world
that can stop me.
24 okt 2008 - meld ongepast verhaal
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sui, man, 47 jaar
   
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