yeah..

There's this thing that I do... Where I can't concentrate. I can't focus. Because all I do is think. Think. Think. Think. You'd assume that'd be great right? Eh. All the thoughts revolve around pain. My pain. Others pain. How to conflict pain upon myself. It's so fucked up. And yes... I'm trying. But I hate showing people the real me, I know they'll get so tired of it, so quickly. Why would they like someone as fucked up as me? Luckily, panic attacks are getting a little better. But the anxiety itself is just as bad. Plus I'm just getting so low... It's hard dealing with stuff on your own, ya know?
Well.
Stay strong lovelies

Paris8543, vrouw, 25 jaar

• Noner woensdag 16 oktober 2013 17:50
  I dont show people the real me because I feel exposed.
• Mackenzee vrijdag 18 oktober 2013 06:39
  Y not..be..be yourself ..and ..ha..have fun doing ..it.it
  
• USMCWife vrijdag 18 oktober 2013 19:13
  Okay, coming from very personal experience I was in your boat. I knew I was bisexual--bc I still liked guys--when I was 12. It wasn't fully apparent to me until I was 13, and told my best friend. I was scared she was going to not talk to me bc i thought she would take all of the friend-like actions as something more. Her first question was "You don't like me right?" Which was hard to answer bc I did. Two days after I told her she kissed me, admitted the same thing, and we dated for a year. It was amazing to be dating my best friend, but likewise we had to keep it a secret from our parents and most people at school. When we broke up it was horrible bc I was straddling figuring out what I really wanted--being on the bi-fence as I like to call it. I lost my best friend for a year before we could talk again, I dated a guy or two. Around 16 I lost my virginity. There was a lot of emotions going wild there. But just remember, you don't have to hide, but you don't have to flaunt it either. Most other girls will not be accepting of it, it'll make it difficult for you to make friends, and it'll be hard to be in a female relationship without being outcast.
  
  My best advice, if you're going to date keep it private. It causes less drama.
  If you're constantly making new friends, only tell the ones who matter. Unnecessary gossip is too damaging for your age, I know bc it was for me.
• USMCWife vrijdag 18 oktober 2013 19:16
  Also, I was suicidal bc I felt alone and like no one understood me. I used to cut myself. I used to get best up a lot. I had manic depression. I was a whirlwind of a person before I found myself. Trust me, after high school you'll be able to be whoever you want in a much more accepting atmosphere. Best of luck.
  
  -W
• Paris8543 maandag 21 oktober 2013 06:15
  Thank you so much. It means a ton for your advice. Luckily, I live in a mostly accepting place so its been easy for me to come out

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