a letter to the voices in my head

i am sorry that you're still here
i am gratefull that you're still here
i am sorry if i keep you locked up inside
but please forgive me

i try not to hold on too much
and yet when ever i hear you
i get drawn to this
this place we both hate
but thanks anyway
cause you gave me so much
and i don't know how i can ever repay you

you are still inside here
and god damn me for keeping you
but i know not what else to do
if i knew how to release you
i would
i would if i could

now that i am somewhat damaged
now that i am somewhat stronger
i think i could
if i knew how

for all that it's worth
thanks from the bottom of my heart
i wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you

i wish it could be more like a side show
more like a rollercoaster ride
more like a circus, that does leave town
tell them i am sorry
please tell them and send my regards

i know in the beginning i promissed an encore
i hope you now understand the parts i ment
i showed you something
something beautyful
be a passenger, not a prisoner
be a driver down this life, not an actor in my play
maybe someday

i love you, all

27 jul 2005 - meld ongepast verhaal

mahakala, man, 47 jaar

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