Angelo...

Dear Angelo,
I look at you and I see wonderful memories. I hardly ever remember the bad memories. I saw my future when I saw you smiling. But now.. I'm realizing that you weren't all there for me. I bet you didn't know that I was screaming your name and calling for your attention when I was crying my eyes out last night. I bet you didn't even know I was broken in the inside. And I bet there's someone else other then me. Actually, I know there's someone else other then me. She's prettier, skinnier, funnier and you can actually see her. I know you like her. I can just see it. You told me how you were taking her to the fair for her birthday and I don't even believe y'all were dating but when I said you why you were taking her you had said, " I promised her for her birthday" that says you can keep a promise. I can't. I try and try and try but I always fail. Maybe that's why you stop loving me. Or is it because of her? I'm not going to make you choose between me and her. I'm not a fucked up bitch like that. I am a bitch though. I see that. You can deny it all you want but I know that all your doing is lying to me when you say I'm not a bitch. I hate myself for making the mistakes and making the choices I make but something good always turns up after. Even if its the smallest thing. That smallest thing makes me get back up and try again. That smallest thing makes me smile to hide all the pain that you don't see. You don't need to worry about me anymore. I swear. I'm going to go and find someone that is willing to be with me. I'm going to find someone who actually cares about me. I'm gunna find someone who won't let some other bitch get in the way for everything. And I'm gunna find someone who will do anything to prove that they love me. You know so much about me. I told you everything there is to know about me. Even my deepest secret. I regret telling you. You know the one I'm talking about. The one with those guys. Yeah that one. I know you remember me telling you. I was so scared to tell you that. I didn't want to die but I took to risk and told you. Didn't I? I'm sorry Angelo. Please please please forget about me. Every little detail about me. I ask for you to throw away anything with my name on it. Delete my number. Delete my pictures. Anything that has to d with me, get rid of it. You have "her" stop hurting me. If you love me you will do what I'm telling you to do. Please Angelo. And no, I'm not going to do the same. I'm not throwing my things away. I'm not deleting your pictures or your number. I won't forget you or your memories that you left me. I won't forget your secrets that you told me. I swear I won't. But I'm going to try and move on. And maybe one day when I'm strong enough I will throw your stuff away. But I need you to throw my stuff away now and move on. I'm so sorry. Please just forget about me. I love you so much. I'm nit even lying one little tiny bit when I say "I love you" I want you to know I truly do love you but now, forget about it. I don't want to ever cross your mind. Please just do it. For me. I will admit.. I'm going to cry and I'm going to maybe cut. I may commit suicide. But it's okay. I'll be fine. I swear. No need to worry. Angelo, I love you and if you love me then please do what I asked you to do and go be with Rachel. That's all I ask. Goodbye my only cuddle bear. It's time for me to move on and search for my other half.

I love you...

Love,
Your no longer
Cuddle bug