Attractive reaction/is it love_...

It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over I will never forget you Kevin


I have been very sad in the beginning of June. Mr- X sended me a youtube video clip with some lyrics like love is not enough etc. and i havent heard from since June 4th thats almost 2 months. i guess it's the 2016 way to say goodbye to a lover/friendship.

When i am sad i just focus on work to keep my mind somewhere else, i have some trust issue's. The person who claimed that he loved me, just said bye without anything. Today he posted some vacation pictures on social media, it didnt make me angry but i was dissapointed in the man i used to know. Who was always there for me, and promissed that he would be there for me.

Can you imagine why i have trust issue? oh welp it's what it is. I just dont want this to happen to me anymore, it's not what i deserve because i know i can give so much love back to a person who just can be loyal to me and love me for who i am.

I am learning it the hard way, maybe thats the good way as well. At least i know that i have give up for my own sake and not for the other persons sake because he wants it, not me. I would fight for you and travel the worlf for you but that feeling is not mutual. time to move on.

so it has been almost 2 months after our last contact and during that time, i opened my eyes. There was always a person at my work who came by to say good morning, and give me a bright smile I never realised it before but he always seems to be around when i am there. I admire him, because he is smart and he is also working for the same director. Hopefully i can develop a friendship with him, when he is around it just give me the happy feeling now since i have opened myself more for male contact ....friendship type , not the relationship kind of thing, i am not ready for that and it would probb take me some time to trust again.

standing open for other people, that's what i am doing and i am doing good with that

Another collegue message me, he came from the other side of the country and he had a meeting with the Germans so he stopped by the office to say Hi. we used to work for the same location but i moved since March.

I figured out that i kinda like his attention, he always compliments me for working with him. I cannot descripe him to much here because i am affraid he might read it, and he could/should never. He is already married and rule nr.1 stay away from married guys.

i felt that connection when we had a meeting planned for 15 minutes yesterday it went out to 1 hour and 15 minutes so some collegues thought it was funny to look inside the meeting room to see what we were doing.

T. He is family guy i could see, he comes from belgium and talks English with a french accent. He was telling about his carrier and what he has been doing all the time. Time went fast when i was talking with him, it was half business related and half personal He smelled very nice, i realy enjoyed his company even though i know this can never be more than a work friendship we shaked hands when he left and he blinked , see you next time ..
and that next time i wish it right now LOL he really smelled amazing i find that very attractive when a guy smels good.

Currently i am single, but right now i am just ready to move on to a new stop. Not holding on the strings that doesnt lead to my future family.

I am glad it's friday, i have some more problems work related but i dont want to write about it.

So can you have a crush at 2 people on the same time? that T i should forget him , but he left my mind since yesterday. it's probb not a crush , this is just the feeling that i like when someone compliments me and makes me feel that i matter

al met al was het een goede week, ik moet nog veel leren. Ik kan sowieso niet flirten , of heb niet door hoe ik dat doe.

tijd om te gaan slapen zo en te genieten van het weekend