bored

maybe its just nothing
nothing

what is there to do
how can i

feeling helpless and sad
fucked by the people
the world and my own hopes

the world irritates me
the deadpool of semi living
where every one thinks that they think
and does what they are told

where fine print is for the elite to use
where obligations are there for the slaves

how justice is a one way street
and governments fail to adhere to their own systems

i fail to see the use of living in this world
and i am not even depressed
i am bored with this prison
and i am not even thinking of things i can not do
bored with this feeling they give me
this deceit and the lies they sell

i am bored with the fakeness of it all
the delusions of the happy end

there is no happy end
keep that in mind
you can take so much joy
and think you have nothing to lose
but once you do

well you will know what it feels like
this feeling of being bored

and i have my doubts
and i have my thoughts
i know where it comes from
and yet
i feel too tired too bored too wasted
why in gods name would i even try
try to change the world for the better
why would i care for the world

for you ?
what have you done for me lately ?

you're just like me
bored and escaping
looking for doors that are not there
searching keys that in the end do not open any thing

once you've come this far
you know it is not what it seemed to be
and i can not see the light of day
i can not see through the fog of war
cause that is what i see
the confusion
the fucked up minds
the love for things that do not give back
the love for the loveless
while those in need get less and less

i am bored
bored with this world
and guess what
if i don't kill myself
i guess some one has to die
where is my energy gone of to now

i have to find it
fuel my anger and rage
focus it and point it
if not towards myself
atleast to something
some one who deserves to
cause i know
i live in a world where more people deserve to
than those who actually do
die

i should remember not to go after the little pig
but the hog at the head of the table
not the stallion but the stable
not the flok but the herder
not the king but the castle

i should prioritize
once the feeling of boredom has faded

i am bored with all of this
and feel like it is totally pointless
why bother
for you ?
you don't care any way
you never did
and once you will
i'll be dead and gone
and maybe just maybe
you would open your eyes and see
but i think that is even too much too ask
you won't wake up because of me

i am bored
dead and tired
and yet
i am
alive
awake
and somehow

oh well you'd never understand !