Cancellation as a self-protective test?

Hoi allemaal,

Ik kom even superhard binnen met een stukje dat beter in het Engels vloeide voor me. Ik wist even niet waar ik anders terecht kwam. Fijn dat jullie er nog zijn

Cancellation as a test for a personality disorder?
Can someone help me understand how the test around 34:00 works for testing if someone is on the spectrum of an anti-social personality disorder?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSTIZ7RwqrY

I suppose a "test" is a tool you use when you are already worried if someone has a disorder, so then cancelling multiple times and observing their response could be useful.

If someone reacts quite intensely to my cancellations I would wonder why.

On the flip side, if someone would cancel on me multiple times, I would think: "OK, if someone cancels on me so freely, perhaps they don't really want to prioritise planning for time together, making time for me, and/or spending time with me. That's their right to do so, but if they don't, I will not let them into my inner circle. Quality time is one of my main love languages, so they will not be able to offer me what I need emotionally." And then their cancellations do not affect me. They just become someone to spend time with whenever I have nothing else to do, too.

If their love language is gift giving, or service, or touch, and they do not touch anyone they do not love and let into their inner circle for example, that will pass me by, because I do not value hugs as highly as quality time and words of affirmation. It's just that simple.

Maybe someone has a specific trauma trigger of being cancelled on last minute and me cancelling on them for multiple times hurts them, and they cannot filter themselves and fall out against me, that's a thing, yeah.

But someone can still have the empathy to realise their reaction was quite intense, and the maturity to protect themselves without guilt tripping me, I suppose. I don't know.

I suppose it's a fairly solid "test", I just wish we did not have to test other human beings at all to protect ourselves. :-(

Then again, I also wish I could just have a sweet little chit-chat with a old man without him feeling like he can ask disturbing, perverse questions 5 minutes into the conversation, yet that happened, and since I ignored my urges to be bubbly and cordial I have not had any unpleasant interactions with old men anymore, so... Being careful, wins?