emotional blockade (guess what :P)

the eyes so shiney and bright
the way you look at me like i still am someone
i am nothing anymore, and not because of you
i never was more than a dream
a hope i could not fullfill

your eyes still shine
and i wish i could do better than that
but i start to fade and drink
frustration grows and i need an escape
horrid painfull thoughts haunt me
and i try not to show
i try to show
because i dare not lie

you are worth my truth
but the last times you had no ears for my truth
not for my vision
so i hide my words cowardly
i won't throw them away
for maybe one day you will ask
what you have asked once or twice before

my world is one that is fractured and full of pitfalls
i dare not let you in, again
once i ruined a world
just because it treatend you
i killed a world i loved so dear
just because it frightend you
and how lng will it take me to realize that this world will befall the same fait
just because your eyes may not shine like they do

i keep my distance
just to stay away from the hurt i imagine
the hurt that i can imagine in the light of your eyes
eventhough they shine like bright stars on a cold winters night
pain filled thoughts acompony them

i keep my distance not to make more mistakes
if i ever made mistakes ?
i just did things to your disliking
and i accept that
i wish i could do more than hide
drink and fall to pieces
just as long as your eyes shine i will trust you are okay
but i know this much
light shines for two reasons
one is to see what is in the dark
the other is because of the fear of the dark
i just hope you shine to see
not out of fear

may i recieve your fear
and all hauting thoughts
as long as you are save
may you not shy away
when the tide has turned
and the light shines for all the wrong reasons

i'll survive
don't worry about me
the warmth will not leave me

even if i was the last actor on earth
and all were mere stand-ins
i would still cherrish you

the light in your eyes is still bright
and the smile is still insecure
because you can not hear me
when i keep my mouth shut
it is the voice that sets you free