entry 1

I started college about a month ago... And... I met a guy second week of college who liked this project I was doing, And He thought it was nice and I told him Thanks and he told me he does tattoos and he works, he likes to go out and have fun and stuff. He was nice and cute. A bit of a show off but that was the motivation I needed in class. To try my best and be like him! so he started to sit next to me giving me tips showing me how to color with certain brushes and such, times where he got close to me and I blushed. He went somewhere one weekend and I said "Thanks for inviting me" joking around of cores. He said "well if I had your number! .... maybe i would of taken you" so I gave him my number cause I wanted to hangout more and do more stuff then to meet him every 2 days of the week in class.... He wanted to hangout on the same week saturday I said sure... but he cancled... I felt... I was being ditched for another person but it was work related, he had drop off a wedding gift. After sunday I got over it. he said sorry and all...

So we got along again he started to flirt as more days passed but I brought his pick up lines down with smart remarks joking of cores. So as days passed and we were in class he went to the student store but asked if I wanted to come with him... I said sure and went with him he said he was still sorry for that day and I told him to forget about it the past... when were on our way back He said he was hopping we would do more ... or something like that I looked at him confused. but he said "your not tough enough to kiss me anyways..." I paused like Excuse you?! so we were in the hall way and some how he was in front of me pinning me against the lockers and not the pinning type like hands are laced its just if i move I know he going to move the way to ...So I was about to kiss but someone started to laugh a bit and we looked over seeing some guy. he like danm not here.. SO! we went into the other hall and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me and my body lit up and I kissed him back shakingly because I was shy he was a bit stiff like he was afraid to move his hands around. we kissed for a few mins but we went to class i was still blushing and he like teasing about it.
But the thing that bothered me the most was "are we dating now?..." I said yes then no then yes... in the end we were friends with benefits but we didnt flirt with others or saw anyone else. Which was a bit odd. he told me he liked me a lot but he was afraid to be with me because he has work, 2 sons... (he divorced wife in Texas with the kids he only see's them like 2 times a year) he didnt want me to feel like I was being in the way of anything and other stuff... I told him I understand also we wanted to get know each other more.
a week passed and he took me on a date to the museum it was fun and all. He came over the next friday and things were getting pretty close but he was alergic to cats and dogs.. and I have 4... so it kind of sucked and he was a bit moody and he ignored me for 3 days... I felt horrible I thought it was me im weak or something but I didnt say much... Today he was like ignoring me all day I felt horrible but I kept my head high and I told myself dont let him see you frown... dont shed a tear dont do nothing... just paint... So I did I listen to my ipod wishing he would say something but he didnt. My teacher saw I wasnt happy or something wrong when it was the last mins of class he let me out early. I said thanks said "see ya dude" to him. when I exited out of lass I went to the catch the metro I missed it so I sat down waiting ... I looked forward and thought to myself... random stuff. I saw Him walking out of class I looked away thinking "Great he gonna think Im a creep to be watching him..." so I looked away he saw me he try to get my attention when I looked over he yelled" I can drive ya home!" i said no but he stood there crossing his arms and yelling "i aint moving till you come with me!" I said fine! so I walked out thinking "jerk I spent a 1.50.... for no ride" so I walked with him to his car. He told me sorry and all this that he was a neat person like really clean person and it was kind of a downer to seem cat furr and all that. he didnt like that and I old him sorry i love cats I love animals I bring them in because I think they need a home he like "I understand I like animals to but its not healthy for you... Becky I like you a lot but I dont know I dont want to hurt you but either the animals go or you clean up really good! I wannna visit you and see you and spend time But I cant cause of all this cat furr Im sorry again" I said its ok im trying to clean up but I have things to do ya know... but now I sit here thinking why must the almost perfect guy be allergic! I dont care for being super neat I need to be neat to! but ugh!!! Im stupid