FUCK FUCK FUCK
what the fuck
i feel shitty
oh well that is so fucking normal
but after these few days
it is like it was not here at all
i feel fucked
scared
i scratched open my hands till they bled
and it felt like burns
and it makes me go mad
i attended to them
the wounds on my hand
but it still does not
feel right
like there is more
more to hurt
and i do not want this
yet it feels so good
i do not want this
the silent me
the silent pain
the hurt
the lonelyness
i do not want
any of this
the happyness
the joy
the laughter
i do not want
any thing any more
my hand hurts
and all i want
is to hurt more
to feel the pain and slowly suffer
go insane
i want no one to be near
nor do i want to be alone
this hell is my life
and i can not take much more
i think i will hit a wall
hit myself
bruse my body
bruse my mind
bruse my self
for all that i am
and i know
i won't find any bruses in the morning
because there is not much left
of what i once was
of what i thought i was
a few days ago
i am empty and desolate
void of the feelings i once had
it is all gone now
i am but a shell
sitting here
writing
insted of hurting
because some care for this shell
this empty broken man
the lost soul who lost all will
to do any thing
insted of doing
the shell sits and bleeds
the colorless blood
for it is even empty
of all passion
no red blood in my shell
no need for any of that
it is clear as water
and sharp as glass
and it hurts
when it is dry and broken
and it will get worse
i feel like shit
without any thing to do
without hopes and dreams
because there is nothing
nothing for me
nothing left
because of some stupid rules
you may not cut
you may not hurt
you may not love
you may not desert
i may not do any thing
because it will make matters worse
because they worry
because they suffer
and there is no hope for me
and there is no hope inside
there is nothing of value
that keeps me going
it is just
a silent breathing
that keeps me going
i need a joint
i need a drink
but i may not
because i might sink
because i might burn
and you will have nothing
no reply to return
i am stuck
and she hates me
and she burns me
and she deserts me
and she kills me
and she leaves me
and she regrets me
and she forgets me
and i
can't blame her
i hate myself and want to die
and that
that would make too many of you
Cry
oh dear friend
please come by and say hello
leave me again and again
but please let me know
you wil come
and get me out
this shit filled life
and this desolate place
this forgotten hell
that no one knows
leave me dead
so they know
i did not die
for nothing
i feel shitty
oh well that is so fucking normal
but after these few days
it is like it was not here at all
i feel fucked
scared
i scratched open my hands till they bled
and it felt like burns
and it makes me go mad
i attended to them
the wounds on my hand
but it still does not
feel right
like there is more
more to hurt
and i do not want this
yet it feels so good
i do not want this
the silent me
the silent pain
the hurt
the lonelyness
i do not want
any of this
the happyness
the joy
the laughter
i do not want
any thing any more
my hand hurts
and all i want
is to hurt more
to feel the pain and slowly suffer
go insane
i want no one to be near
nor do i want to be alone
this hell is my life
and i can not take much more
i think i will hit a wall
hit myself
bruse my body
bruse my mind
bruse my self
for all that i am
and i know
i won't find any bruses in the morning
because there is not much left
of what i once was
of what i thought i was
a few days ago
i am empty and desolate
void of the feelings i once had
it is all gone now
i am but a shell
sitting here
writing
insted of hurting
because some care for this shell
this empty broken man
the lost soul who lost all will
to do any thing
insted of doing
the shell sits and bleeds
the colorless blood
for it is even empty
of all passion
no red blood in my shell
no need for any of that
it is clear as water
and sharp as glass
and it hurts
when it is dry and broken
and it will get worse
i feel like shit
without any thing to do
without hopes and dreams
because there is nothing
nothing for me
nothing left
because of some stupid rules
you may not cut
you may not hurt
you may not love
you may not desert
i may not do any thing
because it will make matters worse
because they worry
because they suffer
and there is no hope for me
and there is no hope inside
there is nothing of value
that keeps me going
it is just
a silent breathing
that keeps me going
i need a joint
i need a drink
but i may not
because i might sink
because i might burn
and you will have nothing
no reply to return
i am stuck
and she hates me
and she burns me
and she deserts me
and she kills me
and she leaves me
and she regrets me
and she forgets me
and i
can't blame her
i hate myself and want to die
and that
that would make too many of you
Cry
oh dear friend
please come by and say hello
leave me again and again
but please let me know
you wil come
and get me out
this shit filled life
and this desolate place
this forgotten hell
that no one knows
leave me dead
so they know
i did not die
for nothing
19 sep 2004 - bewerkt op 19 sep 2004
- meld ongepast verhaal
-
Scarlet
zondag 19 september 2004 00:25
Wat is iedereen
Vrolijk
Vandaag
Mezelf incluis. -
PrankDemon
zondag 19 september 2004 01:08
normaliter zou ik zeggen: GET A FRIGGIN GRIP! maar ik neem aan dat dat je nu niet echt helpt
-
PrankDemon
zondag 19 september 2004 01:17
Ik reageer nooit de eerste keer alleen op een reactie. Mais tu le savais deja. En ik weet dat het niet helpt om dit tegen jullie allemaal te zeggen... je moet zoiets tegen jezelf zeggen. Maar ik wilde het toch soort van even kwijt.
Sorry -
PrankDemon
zondag 19 september 2004 01:26
WHUHAHAHAH nee mij nog niet nee, maar de rets van jullie zijn wel goed de verkeerde kant op aan het gaan vandaag zeg. Zit het in het weer ofzo?
-
monster
zondag 19 september 2004 01:36
no offence
GET A GRIP ON WHAT ??
there is nothing more to do to say
i 've seen it all been there done this done that
once you found your self
preying on the suffering on others
once you found all feelings are but stolen
from me, to steal from others
what is left??
i can not fall in love
i can not be free
i can not go out
i can not smoke weed
i can not go mad
i can not keep sane
i can not do what i want
and there is no one else to blame
i smoke my sigarets
so i will die
afraid i won't
i can not actively kill myself
so i don't
i fucked up on all acounts
i fucked up everything
it is too late for me
and there is nothing but shit
i can not love,
i can only bring missery
so fuck this shit
i am outta here
se you next freaking time
when all my mind is clear
sorry for all this provenity
love
monster
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