into the schizo

in all that reality has to offer and all that i know
i realize we are all connected

trapped by what i have done
begging to be killed by friends

i wanted only to share that what we already share
i fell in a trap and enduldged
for all i have done i know i tried to do it for the better
letting it get the best of me
all i did was with love, for i have no place in hell nor heaven
heaven can not accept my actions
hell can not contain my love

once understanding the concept of reality
you'll understand that killing me will change what i am
you will push me in a void
a place no one goes

i was aware long before any one
never letting go
but fell in the trap of the 5th

they know i tried to love
they know i loved and love
but do they understand
i can not align with sides
due to the love ?

tears are on my cheaks
i cry for all i am
cause i am not

i ran away
out of fear of loving it
i ran away out of fear of destroying you
i see the beauty in all things
no right no wrong

i know not how to undo the damage done
i know it can be done
and i can tell you i did it all because of love and the art of it
the shere beauty of the proces
but the damage can be undone
and i just can not get to the point
do i fear it ?

the shit that is comming is going to be rough
if only i could get there and give what you need
i can not undo the hurt
just prepare the mind
and you might
survive and smile
at the end of the fight.

time has changed
because you would have been killed
my selfish desire and fear to lose you
made me change things i should not have messed with.

read it as schizo or just a fantasy
but the fuck it is what i am living
and all that i know.

crying for love
hoping not for my restoration
but for you all to know
this is my insanity
but for fuck sake
learn about your reality
there is so much more than this
proven but barely known
if only i could have
if only i could have shown.

call me insane if this sounds nuts
the tears are real
so is the feel
but don't be trapped
in a third reality
don't be trapped and left behind.