Just another, "can you relate?.."

Waking up in the morning and signing because everything's running threw your mind again but you have to put that fake smile on so you can go to school and no one will see the real you. You get ready and go to the bus stop or get in the car to go to school. You sit in the car or on the bus and you just look threw the window and you don't say anything to anyone. You sit there looking threw the window thinking about everything and thinking about what it's going to be like at school today. You think that maybe today you can actually fit in or that you'll make some new friends. But no, none of that happens. It's the same thing everyday. You go to first period and everyone looks at you weird because the way your dressed or the way you look. They'll make fun of you and call you all theses names. You'll quietly sit at your seat and try your hardest to make it look like your not even there. You'll try not to get called on by the teacher to read out loud or to answer a question. People start talking to their friends and inside your head your going insane. You'll feel like everyone is talking to you and all theses words are running through your head. You just want to bust out crying and scream. It's like that all day at school, in every class. Your " friends" don't notice your pain behind that beautiful smile or that cute little laugh of yours. You'll get on the bus or get in the car and it's the same thing as the morning. You'll look through the window and think about your whole day. You'll get home and walk to your bedroom door and just before you can open your door, your mom or dad asks, " how was school? " and you sign knowing you have to lie to our own parents but you answer with " fine" and you walk in your room or if you have parents like mine, they won't ask you and you'll just go straight to your room. You turn your music on. Headphones or no headphones. You'll play your music loud so no one can hear you scream and/or cry or if you're a quite person you'll play your music low and cry silently. You'll think about self harm and/or suicide. When night comes, you won't be able to sleep. You'll probably do self harm. All theses thoughts are running through your head. You'll probably think about suicide but then that boy or girl you like crosses your mind and you change your mind. You'll cry until you fall asleep, so really, your crying your self to sleep. You'll dream about things that you wish would happen or you'll have a bad dream and wake up in the middle of the night crying. You'll wake up in the morning and once again, sign because you think about everything and you'll be forced to put that me smile on again and everything just happens all over again.