lack of trying
the lack of tears
the lack of comfort
the lack of love
the lack of feeling secure and at home
it makes me wanna die
long for suicide
and how i wish
how i wish i had the strength
but i always get back to one or two
cause i have to
cause i can not abandon them
cause i fear it might hurt them
and not like you would think
but worse
i don't have the will to go on
nor have i got the strength to keep going
i am tired
i wanna die
all i can do is sleep
sleep
but i'd rather not wake up
cause i know
nothing will change unless
i do something
and when i say something
i mean terrible
i need to eat
i need to feed
cause eating is for humans
and i am too far gone to call myself human
i need some peace, some love
maybe understanding and a hug that lasts a night
or the rest of my life
so tight
i won't do anything
other than love.
i'm down
dead inside
forgive me for this lack of trying
monster, man, 47 jaar
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