metamorphesis

due to circumstances
things change
and so do we
we as in the monster
the ghost
and the mind

as we realized there was nothing
absolutly nothing to live for
nothing to get for me in this life
why pretend ?

like pictured in natural born killers
it is a question
what is wrong ?
and are you less or more
because when i claim you are less
you claim you are more
when i claim i am less
you defend me
your world is one of inconsistancy
and it is one that has no place for me
my work can not be done
my life is going to be a waste
when all i do is picking up your trash
and pieces of your quarrels and fights
without any sign of improvement
nor love for me at a certain point

love is not here on this world
not for me
no one can endure my thinking
no one can stand my rage
and you prove it
day in and day out
and you claim i set myself apart
while no one can even match my thinking
because every one is so selfobsessed and greedy for selfendulgance
but when it comes to work of the mind
you all lack way behind
and i do not fit in
and doubt if i ever will

last week i contemplated murder
and found that it might be the best thing for me to do
as not selfish like most humans i restrain myself
and keep it within my thoughts and writing
though i have nothing to lose
because i have no freedom
nor space nor future
no love to leave behind
no rules that realy matter
because every one kills
but wash their hands clean in innocence and democratic lies

as i read your reactions to me
most of you show me you have no thought of how the world works
and only few have a light within that i praise
some do work inside their heads
and it makes me proud
knowing it will take a prison centense to mature
i will patiently wait
and in my home
doing what your family should do
doing what the gouvernment lacks
doing what should come naturaly
and do in not what upsets you too much

and even then
some people have the guts to call me selfish
and think that i am deranged
maybe in your minds
but i rest peacefully knowing
your minds do not work
not for a 100%
not even 10 %
and with a little luck
you might work 5 % of your capacity

and now you know
what makes me angry
and makes me feel alien to you
and what sets me aside
and what makes me think
every day of my life
of suiside

maybe my hard work will rub off
but often you don't even want to have it
so forget it
you are a waste of my thinking time

come with a good piece
and i will reconsider
like xdollx did last week
to bad she came with a lame reaction