My Other Side
I'm feeling bad.. I'm feeling my dark side comming up..
I'm feeling lonely, tired, wasted...
I had a fucked up day, a friend helped me out to get to work, that's what i really appriciate. My work went very good. but loneliness slowly killed me today. I didn't know how to get home and my mom refused to take me to the trainstation.. so i had to search for another option.. Found that in a colleque. he took me to the trainstation where i took the fucking train home.. Looking out the window into the world. we stopped on another station and a girl got out of the train. Her boy was waiting for her and they kissed... and i got jealous. and i even got mad. The train started to move again and i watched out of the window.. asking myself what the fuck i've reached. i asked myself. who am i..& WHERE THE FUCK DO I BELONG. I don't know the answers. and even if i knew the answers i couldn't understand the reasons. Went home, walking fast from trainstation 2 my home. And now i'm home feeling sad, furious angry..i push the people arround me away again. cause i just don't want to hurt anyone. just trying to help myself like i always did. and even when someone try's to come back after i scared her/him away. i send them away with an iced face.
I've got so much aggression right now that i really would smash my interior into pieces. Just fight against yourself..
my killer is on it's way.. and i'm trying to find something to stop him.
Gotta turn loneliness into happiness.
I'm feeling lonely, tired, wasted...
I had a fucked up day, a friend helped me out to get to work, that's what i really appriciate. My work went very good. but loneliness slowly killed me today. I didn't know how to get home and my mom refused to take me to the trainstation.. so i had to search for another option.. Found that in a colleque. he took me to the trainstation where i took the fucking train home.. Looking out the window into the world. we stopped on another station and a girl got out of the train. Her boy was waiting for her and they kissed... and i got jealous. and i even got mad. The train started to move again and i watched out of the window.. asking myself what the fuck i've reached. i asked myself. who am i..& WHERE THE FUCK DO I BELONG. I don't know the answers. and even if i knew the answers i couldn't understand the reasons. Went home, walking fast from trainstation 2 my home. And now i'm home feeling sad, furious angry..i push the people arround me away again. cause i just don't want to hurt anyone. just trying to help myself like i always did. and even when someone try's to come back after i scared her/him away. i send them away with an iced face.
I've got so much aggression right now that i really would smash my interior into pieces. Just fight against yourself..
my killer is on it's way.. and i'm trying to find something to stop him.
Gotta turn loneliness into happiness.
12 jan 2005
- meld ongepast verhaal
-
Gewoon ik
woensdag 12 januari 2005 22:33
I hope you'll have peace with yourself one day. I mean: you are who you are, you can't change it, I can't change it, other people can't change it. I know that is hard, but you have to live with it. I hope one day you will like yourself. Fuck, wat more can I say... I understand it...
I hope you will not kill me...
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