no more me

i think i will stop
my freakin'feelings do not work for me
my fucked up emotions just want me dead

i think i will kill my scence of feeling
i am not any longer my own dirt
i no am feeling less

lost them some where
no matter any way
honestly i killed them
all away
for they did not suit me

all my feelings did was to push me down
further and further
you did not hurt me at al
i did
you did not hate me at all
i did
you did not love me
i did not even my self

so what is the point of having feelings ?
if they are only in the way

what is the point of being in love
only to see love answered with
well you are very nice kind and full of understanding
but i don't think i love you
i do love you, just not like that

it is the shitty story of my life
and i am through with it
death to all my feelings
death to my love and sanity
death to the world that thinks i am stupid
because it is death what comes to me
when i need love
and hell i don't think that love is found in suicide
love is suicide, but that is a totaly different story
guess i will not even kill myself
not even try this time
not even go to the place where i used to go
not to the places where i have tried it
i will no longer think
of any thing like that
i will just be dead
inside
again
to save
my
self
to kill
what is
left
of
me

sorry

.
01 sep 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
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monster, man, 47 jaar
   
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