the day after

so for those wondering what happend after i came home from LOW
here goes...

i came home, about 2.30 AM
long sleepy ride alone and kinda boring.
just not that impressed by the UFO i saw...
or too focussed on the F#@$ road.

went to the shower and enjoyed it very much though sleepy.
my bed was a warm welcome after the hard grassy ground.

woke up 6.30 AM
damn tired and fucked up.
got to work and was on time, yeah i made it !

head out for the job and work like a zombie
then a call comes in,
"we got a job for yah, after you get back you go to the city to retrieve a dryer."
"okay...."

then another call comes in....
"hey sui/real name get back at the office at 3.00 pm, you have to go to hoofddorp ASAP"
WTF ??

so i go to the office, and in my eager work ethic i forget to pay attention to the road and gears,
and almost do a roundabout in 4th gear at 50kph.

then i hear that the dryer job still stands and i have to go to beverwijk to get a worker so the two of us can go to hoofddorp.
yeah right. my co worker AKA sleepyhead is one dull guy when in a car, he is fast asleep at the moment i leave the parking lot, great i got to get him ....

so i go on my road trip, tripping on my sleepy head, thinking of my daughter with whom i spent the dino concert, yeah i am totally not here on this world...

so i go to the city and get the dryer, all is well and going according to plan.
well almost, i forgot to tank the van and so i have to make a pitstop to check my money.
luck is on my side this time

i head out to the highway, thinking of chris cornell and my two daughters.
no not really, but i have to write it as if it was poetry don't i ?
any way i was over taking a truck or two when suddenly my van started to make a terrible noise.
it sounded like my engine was pumping dry and screeching metal and asphalt.
then i got a jerk to the left, and drove in the grass just across the AZ stadium.

my heart was going nuts.

standing still i get out and inspect the FREAKIN VAN !
i see one of my fenders being eaten by my front left tire.
nothing seems broken but some plastic, but i am too hyped and fucked up to continue.
i call the office.
"hi its me, i'm standing on the A9 with a broken car,.........."
phone dies on me at that moment.
i wait for 15 minutes
"hi its me again ..."
"yeah i got the message, we contacted the mechanics........"
phone dies again.
some time later my phone got some breath left.
"hi this is the mechanic, whats the problem ?"
"i'm stranded on the A9 near the overpass at the AZ stadium"
phone dies.
"euhm, your phone died,..."
"yeah i know"
"some one is comming"
"than..."
..-ks, phone died again.

i manage to get the plastic fender bend back to its original position, and got the curage to move myself to a save place under the overpass, i looked like shit in that yellow resque fest but hell, rather that than being not noticed.

as i stand under the bridge, i got some time to clear my head
and think of the weekend, a sickening feeling rises.

then i see a college driving by, and in some weird moment i totally understand what she is saying
she is getting sleepyhead for me...
then the mechanic comes and we take care of the van, which was not a big thing but he totally understood my position which was the first moment of comfort

so i am ready to continue my journey.

i go and drive straight in to a traffic jam, and well there goes the evening
lost my way a bit in hoofddorp and time
then i get to the client who needed me ASAP
and i find a locked door, no one home....
i felt like i could die or atleast cry...
a neighboor steps out of her house and tells me they left 45 minutes ago
so i leave some stuff at her place write a note and go back

i sit in the van and think, wish i was with my daughters, they cheer me up all the time and now i realy need them.
start the car before any tears of desperation begin to fall.

driving towards schiphol i hear that there is a traffic jam on both of my highways...
A5 and A9, you would not believe my tired sadness

i put on some aphex twin to calm my nerves and i open my caff
1.5 hours of standing still and walking speed....
had one cheerfull moment, i saw the presence in the rain ahead, true it was the presence
i could see it clearly when i followed a plane taking off

then when i can finally floor the sucker it starts to rain like HELL
my windshield whipers ccould not deal with it on adhd speed
i was getting nousious dizzy and weak again
at the tunnel it stopped and i got a fair ride from there.

tired and broken i came home at 8.30
i wished i could cry but i was to damn tired.
still can't cry 24 hours later, still fucked up broken and sick