the true bitch i am...

I never really thought about how big of A fucking bitch I am. I treat people so bad. Even the person I truly love. I wish i could change my ways. I honestly do. I'm trying to become a better person. Yall remember me talking about Angelo, right? Well, honestly, I hate being such A total complete bitch to him. What he doesn't know is that every time we fight, I end up crying. Sometimes I will admit to it to him but most of the time i don't. Today we fought, I don't want us to keep fighting. I hate it. I really do. Angelo was telling me a story yesterday about some guy that drank and smoked all the time and ended up dieing. That story really got to me, It truly did. It got me think about stuff too. I refuse to drink or smoke now. All because of him I'm alive today. If it was never for him I would probably be dead by now. I don't know how to ever thank him for what he has done for me. I can see that he truly cares about me but I guess well, what's the word for it? feel? i guess, I don't know. I guess i don't feel like he cares about me but I know he does. I don't know how to explain this at all. and if he ends up reading this then hes gunna think that i'm saying that he doesn't even care about me but thats not what i'm saying. just sometimes i wish i can make all this fighting go away. i wish i can make me a better person. What matters anyways, hes better off with his new girlfriend and i'm fine with that. i'm happy that hes happy and thats all i ask for is for him to be happy and i told him that. he needs to stop worrying so much about me and more about her. Angelo, boo if your reading this then i'm sorry for the way i am, i'm sorry for being a bitch, i truly am, i love you and i will always love you no matter what.
28 jan 2013 - meld ongepast verhaal
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snooki, vrouw, 25 jaar
   
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