The truth behind my untold story..

I spent years trying to hide the real me. Trying to forget who I really was. I was so scared that people will judge me because I'm different then them. I like to keep things to myself. I never told anyone about the real Madison. The real me is different then most of y'all but hey, isn't all of us different in our own ways. No one is ever going to be perfect and that's okay. I'm that type of person who will go out of their way just to help others but when I need someone there for me, it's like no one is there. I guess that's just how it is. I been hiding the real me ever since like 4th grade. I spent years in the back of the class room and not talking to anyone. I had a few friends. Friends who I never told anything to because I knew they would just judge me and I just wanted to fit in like every kid does. Those friends I talked to would of never saw anything wrong with me and to be honest, they thought I was a sweet little innocent girl. That's not the truth though. Once I learned that people like me better when I'm not myself, we'll that's when it came to me. To be fake, someone I'm not. I hate being fake, I really do but you have to do what you have to do. I would rather be fake then be made fun of my whole life. Sometime in August, I met this guy. A guy who I thought was just like every other guy. He's not in a way but then again he is in a different way. Sure he cheated on me like all those other guys and sure he leaves me alone when I need him most but I just can't let him go and trust me, I could drop a guy like him in a heart beat. I did it before and I'm not scared to do it again but I just can't let him go. I'm scared what I'll be like when he's gone because I can be that Madison I truly am and was born to be. He change my life forever and I won't ever forget about that. He saved my life god knows how many times. I love him. Honestly I do and I want him to know that. I want him to know that I'll be nothing with out him. When I was little, I didn't really know what I was doing but I understood a lot. I had to grow up by myself. Yeah, my parents were there but they were really there. They ignored me. They never really understood me, they say they do but they don't. They say they love me but is that true? I don't think it is and honestly, I don't give a fuck. Being this young and having to go through this is painful. I know there's other people out there who have it worst then me but when I tell you something about me, don't compare your life or your pain to mine because they are totally different and I'll won't compare mine to yours. Honestly, if you can't say anything nice back then don't say shit. I told you hat I was going through and how I feel because I trust you not to judge me. I trust you to love me for me. I always want to say how my life is but when I try to put it in words, it's just impossible. Everyone's life is different and I get that but don't judge me if you don't know my story because you don't know me and I don't know you and I don't even want to know someone who is just so god damn judge mental because I'm tired of the shit. I'm tired of being made fun of because I'm being myself. Don't I have a right to be me? So, why can't I? I'll tell you why. It's because this world is so god damn fucked up that anyone will make fun of you for anything. I'm done being fake, I want to be me but I'm scared. I can hide my pain with a smile and a laugh. I can hide my scars with jeans and long sleeves and you would never know what's under them because I'm not telling you until I can trust you and believe me, getting my trust is so hard. He got it the easy way. I trusted him from the beginning and I will till the end.