things that were never but are now

my days are filled with anger and pain
bitter and wretched i have become
i always thought i was like that
i never was
i always thought i was good i never qwas
now that i fought so hard to be good
i see the error of my ways, but the smile is gone
the pain and bitterness grows each day, i have been so bad to every one i loved and love
and this is the sweet price to pay

tears of painful memories
the lies i believed
the pain i brought

i never was a good man
i always was the evil one
now is my time to pay
and no one can enjoy
for all i have been bad to are not to see
the tears of pain

i have been evil for so long
and i know i can not change
i still feel the anger and cruel thoughts
i still enjoy the killing
and the pain i deliver

i have been a bad man
and somewhere i will always be

i am the evil one they hate
but a pretty shell makes them blind
no one realy hates me
or maybe some do

i don't know
i have been so bad all my life

and i can't change a thing about it
nore can i change the wrong i am going to do
even though i don't yet know what that will be
all good i try will one day backfire

never will i rest in peace
for i will not surrender to this urge
never will i know love
for i will only haunt it away
knowing i can only do harm

verdrietig
14 dec 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
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sui, man, 47 jaar
   
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