when they shot him

back in the day they shot a man, the rooster
while i knew him as Eric de Haan
he was a man like any other
but with a little difference
he was vitally important for this world
they shot him.

it does not matter who and what and why,
it matters now because he is dead
and actually we need him
but he ain't no more
if your name is eric de haan, and you read this
don't think it is you, if so you would have contacted me earlier.

he was a resistance fighter
and he was good at it
back then it was way more complicated
fractions were rivaling and there were more groups out there than you could count
he was a good mediator
and he knew how to make things work

but now he is dead and we need things to get going
and it ain't
it is slow and fucked up
less groups thus less force
less drive and less motivation.

i know who killed him
and i know that it does not matter
i bare no grudge
though i would like to have a word with the guy

i have seen a lot of death
and i have killed a lot more
but when i was with the rooster when he died
something died within me
i have not had a decent kill since
nor did monster.

the rooster was not always nice
and that is what killed him
and maybe that is the lie i tell myself,
to make it barable
the one who killed him has done well after
and not in a selfish way.
maybe i could learn from him, but then again
i know i might not be save
i hid when i could and avoided him
though i might have been better of confronting him.
or is that being selfish ?

back then i thought the rooster was a hippy geek
but now i might look back and regard him as a great man
i know i tried to save his life
but that was a dream, and remained a dream

some great guys feel as if i let them down
and i might have
if i could have done otherwise
but i could not, i was not man enough, tough enough or what ever
and i will take the blame
and i will do so in time

but i will not sell out the killer
nor the one who actually shot him
not because of some weird politics
but because we were all fucking up, and are fucking up
looking back at our losses never got us there
it only gave us pain and missery
and i do not say invein
but that is what we got

but i still remember
him lying there
i turn him to his side to see who and what
and as i do so
i knew
and knew there was nothing i could do

even though it is so long ago
i still remember
as if it still has to happen.
so fresh it remains

i hope to meet you one day
so we can talk it over
cause i know you still fear me
even after so long
like i fear you
while we know
it has been done
and we can not change it.

would you know dream from reality ?