=/

I sent my ex an e-mail last night. I was a little bit tipsy... well.. drunk, and .. I've been thinking about him a lot these last couple of days. I miss him. We spent 10 months together, and it was the best 10 months of my life. I fell head over heels in love with him. He was mine. He was really selfish and very unfair when it came to his wants in a relationship. He was so dominant, wanted to be called Daddy, he liked the submissive type of girl. I'm not really submissive. Don't get me wrong. I like it rough, but being too rough scares me, and I shared how I felt with him. It back fired. I was on Facebook a lot, and it was really starting to piss him off. He finally said that we're over and there is no more "us". We had these fights every once in awhile but this time he was dead serious. It took me a month to realize that he wanted nothing to do with me. He missed my birthday on August.... Didn't even give me as host shout out. I miss him terribly. It's been about 5 months since we have broken up, and 4 months since we haven't spoken. I need a dose of him right now. He currently lives in Toronto Canada. His visa expired a month ago, but he moved back a month after we broke up. He couldn't take it any longer. He couldn't take the fact that I was sort of moving on. I really broke his heart, and he broke mine. He still loves me. The weekend before our break up he was in Toronto celebrating one of his friend's birthday. He was telling me how I came up in all of his conversations and how he wished I was there, and that we could really start our own lives up there, and have a family, and be in love. I miss him. I miss loving him. I miss his touch, and the sweetest words at night and in the morning. Of course. He was a total ass, but I loved that about him. I love assholes. Maybe I need to change on what I look in for a guy. I tend to lean toward the asshole types. I moved on, but I have my weak moments. I am always reminded why we aren't together, and I'm glad we're not. Maybe he was my soulmate at the time, but he definitely wasn't the man I was going to marry. He didn't reply to my e-mail. I don't think he would...

So... yeah. Other than that. It's 10:56 and I have to wake up at 5 tomorrow morning. I think I might go see my mom and cuddle with her. I haven't talked to her all weekend, and i was sort of pissed about the whole vacation situation, and me not going and all. I'm glad we're on good talking terms.

Today I touched a basketball for the first time in a month. It didn't take me long to get my shot back. It feels good to use my arm muscles other than lifting weights and running. I'm so ready for conditioning to be over. 5 more sessions then season! Woot.
Also I heard that NBA is cutting 2 weeks off of their schedule??? What?
I don't watch Men's pro, but I'm still confused on that topic. So weird. Oh and, I saw that Maya Moore won the Women's National title last weekend. She went to my high school =]

I decided that I'm not going to Homecoming. I really don't feel like being around that crowd. It just doesn't sound or look appealing. People say I'll regret it, but in reality. I won't regret getting drunk at some high school event. I really regret getting drunk last night. I only had two beers, but I can't fucking hold alcohol down. No drinking for me. I absolutely hate it, and it's carbs that I don't need. Ugh. I just want to go to bed, no. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. So sick of this bulshit. UGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!