(25) Pain and dead

Dying is a part of life.
It keeps you company when times are dark and cloudy.
You can feel it like a fog in the night.
It keeps you from seeing clearly and seeing the light.
I felt so much pain when you died.
Its like a scar on my heart that reminds me of our loss.

When someone else dies,
you need to give that one the respect and the memories
that they deserve on their day of saying goodbye.
I'm trying to think of the new lost one,
but all I can see is you!

Your face, your laugh, your cooking!!
And when I concentrate, I can even smell your parfume!
Its like you are right next to me, like before.
And maybe I can believe that you are here with me,
supporting me, helping me through this pain.

I wonder if it will stop someday,
all those feelings, thoughts and losses about you,
when some one else dies.

I'm listening to music that keeps you near,
hoping that I can concentrate tomorrow.
Although I know that you can help me,
somewhere, I hate myself for saying this,
but somewhere I hope that you're not there tomorrow....

Feeling you near me, feeling every emotion in the room,
aching, screaming, attacking my soul and strenght.
I think it will be too much.
I think, its too much feeling you near me, tomorrow...

Tomorrow, I need to concentrate on the one we've lost.
I need to feel the respect to that one newly above.
I need to...

*sigh* I miss you so damn much!





I need to find a way to get some peace with me losing you.