everybody in da house

I tried so hard to get my sister to the house, and she finnaly did. I was happy !
But today i saw a big change in my family, like the older days when we didn't stop fighting ... that's what happend today!
I got a fight with my sister, my mother came and i started to yell on her too because i didn't give a damn that time, i was pissed off!
And than when we were eatin a few minutes ago, i insulted my mother, i didn't mean too but she made me do it i don't like people to laugh on my face . I don't take it anymore and i don't give a damn about anybody anymore!
I will yell at everybody's face if they do something wrong to me!
People come and go like they want, i wont invite someone to stay with me, or to be nice to me or something!
I will treat people like they exactly treat me and i don't give a fuck if this people means my mother my father my sister my best friend or something
Because i knew that i can only count on my self, everybody thinks about himself first! so why should i think about them?!
I'm nervous, i'm sick, sometimes my heart beats faster than normal with no reason, i get a headach when i'm pissed ... i'm affraid if i get nervous all the time i will die someday!
Fuck them and Fuck what they do to me !
If i get pissed off more than this i will suicide or runaway and get in my own problems not live in peoples problems and try to solve them just to make my self confortable!
31 jul 2012 - meld ongepast verhaal
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sweetnlost, vrouw, 30 jaar
   
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