fractal thoughts

and so i realize
it never ended it never stopped
it only leaves to return

but this is so hidden
maybe it is normal
but i don't think so

you would not have this
i know that you would not
you had it worse ?
maybe

i think some might have it worse
but when they would have it like me
would they be happy ?


i shut myself out
lock myself in
just to avoid all the world
all the input
and even here i am not save
save from myself

i should sleep
but when ever i do
the world changes
when ever i wake
i realize something has changed
i get these messages
coincedense ?

there is no coincedense
once you have entered the fractal world
everything has its place
can be calculated

i can ignore it all
but it would leave me even more broken
i could say hopeless
but that would imply that there is hope
and that there is not

how can i have hope ?
it will all fall down anyway

i can crawl up
just to fall back down again
keep crawling up
to fall down
again and again

i can fit the pieces together
and so i do
but it does not help me get up
get out of this hell hole

to ignore the world and all the fractal implications
that would give just some space to stand straight
but i know from previous disasters
to stand straight means to be able to tumble
and it never failed to tumble

the understanding of fractal motions
is to understand what and where, how things come to be
once that puzzle is all clear to me
i could stand straight
i could tell the world
but then it is all too late

it is like a fuse
once lit the flame on the fuse thinks where it is being draged to
once it figured it out and is certain of its path
it is near the end
and it is too late

it is like a leaf
born in spring
strong in summer
to die in autum
and in fall it sees the tree
understanding the bigger picture
to go to waste in winter
to fuel the tree
where the branch was seen as the whole world
ignoring the tree

once sure of the world you live in
you realize in the end you have forgotten
that beyond the lines you have drawn your world with
there is more

some draw their lines
thinking they are the end of comprehension
forgetting that lines stand on grond
never float free
ignoring the basics of drawing

a comic book comes to life
thinking all drawn is real
but forgetting it is drawn on paper
ignoring the paper and the world that holds the paper

the never ending picture of opposite mirrors
and the realisation that there is a wall behind each one of them
excluding a world beyond

like a droste can on the picture of a droste can
some one holds it in a room
and the room is held in a world of its own

once realizing the fractals like waves
the thoughts are not different
thats where they say
you go round and round in circles
never getting anywhere

and then someone says
it is not the destination
it is the journey that matters

it is not the paper
it is how it has come to life

it is not the rain
but the time you have chosen to go out

all words are empty
when only one meaning is to be read
all words are confusing
when all the meaning is lost

each thing you do
each thing you don't
it is a piece of the puzzle
that moves in fractal waves

a downward spiral is only downward when viewed from one side

the whole of excistance is spiral shaped
when viewed at an angle
excistance is but a downward spiral

all is simple
when you leave out the hard stuff
will you be a leaf ?
or a seed ?