modern day faust *only for the experianced*

the world did not give me a choise
or was i just to blind to see the choises in front of me ?

i did have some choises
but they were never fair
it had to take the obvious ones
just to show my love for my parents
to show my love towards my friends
that ment walking through the dark
that ment dancing with the demons
i never made a suggestion i was not a monster
i never lied about this

unlike christ
unlike the whole religious being
the creep that is more black arts than you would believe
believe
call it that

"to believe, is to put energy in to something you are not sure of, thus enforcing and creating with given energy the thing you believe in"

i believe in little
most of my believes have been taken away
where i dwell in is what you would call the home of saints
reminding that most saints were murderers and thiefs
killing of the people in the old and new lands
to support the one darkest figure of them all
god
for he is claimed to have been the creator
and the one of great love
but then again
who created aids the plague and cancer ?
millions of people all over the world give energy t that being
and some try to tell me i am misguided ?

i nearly had it
all the answeres
right in my hand
but then can god
with great love
bigger promises
and till this day
god makes my life missarable
because i chose to become
insted of dying

i hold no grudge against him
just against his following
that only see one side
and call me the other side
i walk in the black arts
because i have niglected them for too long
just to save what was left
but he came along
and ruined it

god is also sociaty
sociaty hates me
my thoughts and my ways
not because i harm any one
but because i hold my ground
because i stand for all sociaties victims
i claim their pain
don't what to let sociaty take the blame
or did i take it
because no one else did ?
because he who belongs it to
is not give it properly
and i became the sorry ass messenger ?

i was in search for answeres
now i am part of all the answeres
of my questions
i have to go where you don't want to go
i have to doubt all that is believed
because my believes
have been destroyed
because no one accepted them

and don't worry
i know the way
i've had to fight the world
i have had to fight windmills
i had to fight the saints
and i still fight
that what you created
a god who does not take
resonsible actions
for the crimes he set in motion
one can try to cheat death to win souls
and claim to be the good god
but good gods don't cheat
good gods play with open hands
with their cards on the table
not up their sleves

now who am i ?
i am just a modern day faust
i have to pay for what you call a sin
the sin of distrusting god
the sin of learning
the sin of walking my own path

he will reward me when i die
with a warm place in heaven or hell
because he is the one who decides
where one is to go