Self-organisation in deep sincere intimacy

My perspective on human interaction and connection is not as far fetched and dreamy as some might think. How delighted I am to read in scientific articles the concept of self-organisation:

"Such spontaneous pattern formation is exactly what we mean by self-organisation: the system organizes itself, but there is no "self," no agent inside the system doing the organizing. A single Bénard preparation might contain something on the order of 10^20 molecules, each of which is subject to random disordered motion. But once the rolling motion starts, even in parts of the fluid, all these molecules begin to behave in a coherent fashion. The system is nog longer merely a haphazzard collection of randomly moving molecules: billions of molecules cooperate to create dynamic patterns synchronized in time,, and extending over large distances in space many orders of magnitude larger than the molecular interaction." >> Kelso - How Nature Handles Complexity(1995). <<

This is exactly what I am talking about as a fundament on how I view social and interpersonal order and relations. We are indeed a system with open, non-equilibrium patterns that are activated by different control parameters. On itself and in ourself we may function autonomously, but once activated by a certain control parameter, we express a certain pattern. Imagine a DJ playing kizomba. Kizomba will be the control parameter that initiates a pattern between us molecules and we start dancing, feeling, even soaring. Internally, it may be the same as well. Emotions are no self, there is no emotion without the presence of other ones, because it's the whole that creates the dynamic.
Imagine that one specific control parameter triggers within a dual system to express a certain pattern that extends over distances beyond any grasp of superficial individualistic imagination. You can't. Unless that control parameter activates you. It is true, it is there, nature has shown it. Human behaviour has shown it in even (macrosopic) psychological experiments. So why would this not be possible in a mindblowing sense between 2 individuals? That control parameter. It's somewhere out there. In the meantime, being a simple molecule is all I can be. And I should be content with that too. I'm sure I can and will be. Yet we as humans, we should not be viewed as homogenously distributed elements. Sway, dynamics, self-organisation, relations, interaction. These terms. They feel so familiar. I have reclaimed my ground.

I will not succumb to populistic and Western dogma's.