the calm.........

18+ verhaal
.....of a selfconsious suicide

i know what it is like
and god am i glad
as i distance myself
and others distance themselfs from me

no attachments
no one to hurt
and god please no,
don't say you'll be hurt
cause you will not be hurt
at least not by me
because it should hurt
not when it's done
and i know you don't feel hurt at the moment
no you will feel self pitty in a painfull manner
and you will project it at me
for what i have done.
well sure fine,
do as you're told,
Blame me

no i won't hurt any one
nor will i be missed

now that there is enough distance
i can go
i should go
it is save that way
and what would you care ?
i'm a jerk
a lair
a screw up
so why would you care ?
and you don't

i can always go ahead with all this
all i am good at is useless
all i could be doing
well others can do better

who am i to tell you you're wrong
about me, the world, or what ever
so please
don't tell me i am wrong
cause you would not know SHIT
did you ever listen to me ?

i guess you did
and i'll prove it when i am DEAD

i have nothing to lose
nor any one to live for
life is wasted on me and i am a waste to life

i should kill myself
before i get attached to any thing or any one.

22 mei 2007 - meld ongepast verhaal
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sui, man, 47 jaar
   
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