I so hate this right now
So damn tired of being me
I just want to get away, from myself
I know I can’t, but I want to be free
Now I’m just trapped inside a body
Doesn’t feel like mine
And these thoughts, voices, I can’t resist
And always pretending I’m fine
I fear to be alone, I fear myself
But I don’t want to be around people too
Because I’m living in my own world right now
And I can’t get out, no matter what I do
I don’t see a way out
Fear I’ll be this way for the rest of my life
And I don’t want that, I can’t let that happen
I would rather just stop this strive
And I know I’ll just have to get up and do things
But if I do, they’ll end up all wrong
And I ask myself, why do I even bother?
Why am I even trying to survive while I’m just not that strong
When all I can do here, is hurt people
And burdening them by being the way that I am
And I can’t deal with that, I’m not worth their concern or care
I don’t care what happens to me, I just don’t give a damn
I don’t know what to do anymore
I don’t see a way out, or even a future
Just an empty hole, dark an cold
And that just seems so pure
I feel like death is a blessing
Being freed of myself, all the pain inside will go away
When life is killing you and you only purpose
Is to think of a goal just to get through the day
Why do I even bother? This is no way of living
Just trying to get through the day, without doing a stupid thing
Feelings are growing stronger, and I’m burying them inside
But some day soon, I’ll give up, and end everything
I cry, too much feelings I can no longer hide
Don’t want to be this weak, or feel this way
But I feel myself getting weaker every hour, every minute
I know I will not survive much longer, and I’ll go away