to my friends

as so often
i find myself
writing
you a letter
not ment to send
because
you don't know me
you would not even care
i am not worth your thoughts
so i just write
i listen to your voices
i listen to your words
and i feel
i am the one
to blame
you seek
and i know
your precious words
of pasivisme
protest and love
mean nothing
if i was the one to blame
if there was no consequence
because
if you knew my truth
you would kill me yourself
and even those words
comfort me not
i can not show my face
because you might be right
and i am not to blame
and you would dispize me with all my shame
maybe i am right
and i am
the one
and i would be
all you hate
i love your words
your voices and concerns
love your feelings
and know
i am not worthy
i am nothing
because
i am
the most horrid creature
and lack
all you praise
i lack
all
humanity
i can but kill
your love
for me

you will never read this
you will never know my name
you will never know my actions
you will never know my shame
as i run away
far from those i love
far away
never to be found
not by you
maybe
i will show my eye
and you'll see it once again
but you'll never know
the boy inside the man
i need to go
i need to hide
you know my desires
you know my weakness
and how powerless
i realy am

i love you
i love you
i love you

i love you
i love you
i love you

i love you
i love you
i love you

i love you
i love you
i love you

i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you
i love you

i love you
i love you
i love you

i love you
i love you
i love you


and you'll never know
the boy inside the man
you will never know
because it won't show

take me in your head
and kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me

set me free

sui, man, 47 jaar

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