Trying to be brave but breaking up

You're busy leaving to see the girl
you say your in love with
Telling this in the presents of the girl
you've been with last night
Putting my brave face on
wishing you good luck
but inside I'm breaking up

I'm shivering
Crawled up in my bed
Trying to stay warm
But just the thought of you
are leaving me cold

Trying to fight back the tear
Like I've been doing the past 2 years
To proud to show: I'm weak.
But everyday I have to see your face
I don’t have a choice, you choose it for me
Over and over again you’re chrasing into my life
and leave it in pieces
Just think how you would feel
If someone you care about, does it to you.

I'm still mad at you
for just moving in when I was away
Not even letting me know
Just disrupting my life

I know I mean shit
You dot even care a bit
I'm just you’re back up plan
You’re last resort


I cant keep on playing this part
But if I don’t I’m going to lose my friend
like I lost my sanctity
like I'm losing my sanity

The question I’m struggling with, is:
are we even friends
or is it just a illusion
Because I cant lose something
That I don’t even have