Update to First Entry

I have decided to NOT get a divorce. I filed and we started the proceedings but Shawn and I have decided to reconcile and end the divorce proceedings. I am so grateful and delighted that I have made this decision. We have had many discussions and we both are going to give this marriage the chance it deserves, not only for our four incredible daughters, but also for us. We have endured many tragedies and heartaches in our life spent together which has really taken a toll on our relationship. But we choose to center our attention on our blessings and love that we have for each other to create a marriage that both of us has always dreamed of.
We know this will be challenging and full of obstacles but we are going to strengthen our love daily so that we can overcome anything that threatens our bond. Shawn and I both have many strengths and weaknesses and we are going to act as one so that we can benefit from each others' strengths and overcome each others' weaknesses.
I will never consider divorce as an option ever again. I want to be with Shawn and I want to be a family with Shawn, the girls and I. I will give everything I have to ensure that our relationship is strong, always increasing in love, devotion and commitment. I will give with all my heart and soul; everything that I am to Shawn. And I will be open to receive everything that Shawn has to offer me.
I have put our marriage last on my list of priorities because I felt it was the only way to cope with my situation. But now I know that I can receive so much from a deep, committed relationship with a husband who adores the girls and I. I just need to make myself vulnerable and accessible so that Shawn and I can receive all that we deserve from a committed union.
I found this prayer from Stormie Omartian: Lord, I release all my relationships to You. Help me not to hold on to them too tightly, but instead to hold tightly to You. I know that the enemy wants to create strife and discord in my relationships, so I ask that You would be in charge of every one that I have. Help me to be humble, considerate, compassionate, and loving toward each person. Enable me to make the sacrifices I need to make for others as You reveal their needs to me. Help me to be unselfish as I look out for he interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.