Why do I even fucking try?! I went to the wake and everyone had eyes on me. Oh god what if I ever wanted to see her one last time? Oh hell that's a BIG no-no to them! I knew her better than anyone else and for them to say the shit they did to me is very very uncalled for. They said I'm the reason she isn't living. I'm the reason...no I'm the reason she didn't commit suicide every single time they called her a fat hore....well they called her that EVERY week and I mean EVERY week! Its not like I don't feel bad enough not being able to stop her before it was to late! But then this shit?! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!