Grappige Tweets VI

The instructions on my deodorant said to "remove cap and push up bottom" I can barely walk but whenever I fart the room smells lovely

If a prostitute gets pregnant, is it considered a work related accident?

Just told my joke about Peter Pan again. Never gets old.

Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade."

Oh, you can't come with me after all? I appreciate the 7 minute notice, now I have time to make adjustments.

Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone.. Could have been a serious game changer.

I left a note on my neighbour's car asking him to stop parking in front of my house.I couldn't find any paper, so I used my car key instead.

I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Apparently, "My Dick" is the wrong answer to "What do you look for in a girl?"

Curiosity killed the cat. I wanted to know if they really do have nine lives. They don't.
05 sep 2012 - meld ongepast verhaal
Weet je zeker dat je dit verhaal wilt rapporteren? Ja | Nee
Profielfoto van Quinoa
Quinoa, vrouw, 41 jaar
   
Log in om een reactie te plaatsen.   vorige volgende