Grappige Tweets VI
The instructions on my deodorant said to "remove cap and push up bottom" I can barely walk but whenever I fart the room smells lovely
If a prostitute gets pregnant, is it considered a work related accident?
Just told my joke about Peter Pan again. Never gets old.
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade."
Oh, you can't come with me after all? I appreciate the 7 minute notice, now I have time to make adjustments.
Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone.. Could have been a serious game changer.
I left a note on my neighbour's car asking him to stop parking in front of my house.I couldn't find any paper, so I used my car key instead.
I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
Apparently, "My Dick" is the wrong answer to "What do you look for in a girl?"
Curiosity killed the cat. I wanted to know if they really do have nine lives. They don't.
If a prostitute gets pregnant, is it considered a work related accident?
Just told my joke about Peter Pan again. Never gets old.
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade."
Oh, you can't come with me after all? I appreciate the 7 minute notice, now I have time to make adjustments.
Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone.. Could have been a serious game changer.
I left a note on my neighbour's car asking him to stop parking in front of my house.I couldn't find any paper, so I used my car key instead.
I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
Apparently, "My Dick" is the wrong answer to "What do you look for in a girl?"
Curiosity killed the cat. I wanted to know if they really do have nine lives. They don't.
05 sep 2012
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