howling at the moon
guess you did not expect this
guess you thought i'd be fooling
guess you thought i would be nice
well damn right you are
i thought so too
but i fucked up
fucked myself up big time
could not stand myself any longer
could not bare this burdon
and know
i did not drown
nor did i drown my love
thought it would be a simple walk
just near the shoreline
fresh sea air to release some tension
but it fueled me
it fueled me like my alcohol
it burned so fierce
and it screamed so loud
not just a little strowl along the beach
too bad you were not there
sad you were not there
to see me crawl on my hands and knees
crying at the moon
bet it's still laughing at me
seeing me stumble
watching me trip
enjoying the sight of me falling
hurting myself
screaming out my lungs
fucking things up
trying so hard
and
smiling at me
when i withered away
too bad you only saw the pethetic little fool
he who can't stand up right
surely when there is nothing more
that is truely important
too bad you did not see the decay
the rapid decent into the bottle
too bad for me
as i watched in awe
now it is clear
still there is love
but it is decaying
surely on the surface
for i can't stand it any longer
the insecurity
the daily torment
the awful pain
knowing you'll never be by my side
i can't cry for that
but howl at the moon
because you still are
my love
the one that truely cares
even when i am a fool
even when i am stupid
even when i am closer
to my hell then heaven
i howl
because i love you
because i never wanted you to know
the sick fucked up me
i howl
because it is not worth
to care for me
and still you do
that is why
i do love you
and will keep loving
untill it fades to the distance
not to dissapear
but to keep
a formal distance
for it is best
not to stand so close
to me to you
i am deeply sorry
i am so messed up
i am ever so sorry
that you know the hell
wich i had to hide
but did not do
hide from you
again it was a fucked up
sorry ass goodbye
not only broken
but nearly drowned
shattered
and i would have loved
to be so much closer
hug you
kiss you
and tell you
that i love you
i did not
the fool i am
(thanks for caring, please try not to drown like me in sorrow)
guess you thought i'd be fooling
guess you thought i would be nice
well damn right you are
i thought so too
but i fucked up
fucked myself up big time
could not stand myself any longer
could not bare this burdon
and know
i did not drown
nor did i drown my love
thought it would be a simple walk
just near the shoreline
fresh sea air to release some tension
but it fueled me
it fueled me like my alcohol
it burned so fierce
and it screamed so loud
not just a little strowl along the beach
too bad you were not there
sad you were not there
to see me crawl on my hands and knees
crying at the moon
bet it's still laughing at me
seeing me stumble
watching me trip
enjoying the sight of me falling
hurting myself
screaming out my lungs
fucking things up
trying so hard
and
smiling at me
when i withered away
too bad you only saw the pethetic little fool
he who can't stand up right
surely when there is nothing more
that is truely important
too bad you did not see the decay
the rapid decent into the bottle
too bad for me
as i watched in awe
now it is clear
still there is love
but it is decaying
surely on the surface
for i can't stand it any longer
the insecurity
the daily torment
the awful pain
knowing you'll never be by my side
i can't cry for that
but howl at the moon
because you still are
my love
the one that truely cares
even when i am a fool
even when i am stupid
even when i am closer
to my hell then heaven
i howl
because i love you
because i never wanted you to know
the sick fucked up me
i howl
because it is not worth
to care for me
and still you do
that is why
i do love you
and will keep loving
untill it fades to the distance
not to dissapear
but to keep
a formal distance
for it is best
not to stand so close
to me to you
i am deeply sorry
i am so messed up
i am ever so sorry
that you know the hell
wich i had to hide
but did not do
hide from you
again it was a fucked up
sorry ass goodbye
not only broken
but nearly drowned
shattered
and i would have loved
to be so much closer
hug you
kiss you
and tell you
that i love you
i did not
the fool i am
(thanks for caring, please try not to drown like me in sorrow)
29 aug 2004
- meld ongepast verhaal
-
Pasja
zondag 29 augustus 2004 11:31
Er zijn zo veel meer mensen die op die manier wel es "fout" gaan. Maar probeer t niet als fout te zien. Je hebt je gevoel versterkt. Zo kan het er tenminste uit. En dat die manier van aandacht krijgen de veerkeerde was, dat weet je nu... Maar voel j er niet schuldig over! Niemand neemt het je kwalijk. En ik zie er dwars doorheen hoor... K heb echt niet een of andere alcoholist lere kenne..! Hoe jij bent zie ik evengoed wel..!
-
monster
zondag 29 augustus 2004 15:48
lief klein stil meisje dat veel praat als er niemand anders is (bijzonderlange titel )
ik wist weet en zal weten ook een volgende keer wat ik doe en deed
en vind het gewoon onacceptable van mezelf
nou weet jij misschien nog wat ik vertelde toen wij *DoDo* gingen zoeken zonder telefoon
ik vind dat niet kunnen zulke uitspattingen zeker niet op een feestje
(wat als ik nou meer controle over lijf dan geest had ??)
dan was monster nu uit gestorven
en jullie allemaal in diepe shit
ik ben boos op mezelf zo af en toe
omdat ik het al weet voor ik iets doe -
Pasja
zondag 29 augustus 2004 16:09
Haha, cker lange titel...
Voel me beter bij minder mense... :S
N keertje boos zijn op jezelf is nie erg... zolang t maar niet te extreem is. "Wij" vinden het niet erg en dus zijn we ook niet boos. Ik doe t ook altijd, maar achteraf bedenken wat er had kunnen gebeuren heeft geen zin. Het is allemaal goed afgelopen. Iedereen maakt fouten, en dit was er een van. Daar kun je alleenmaar weer van leren.
(Ok dat was ff mijn over-nuchtere kijk op alles...)
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