i cursed myself

hell
yes this is it
now i know for sure
this is hell

living here made me realize
opened my eyes
watched the monster
as he slowly dies

i almost threw up
i was so sick
i nearly fell
but it would not matter
i am in hell

my stomach turned
discusted
but i kept going
fuck my self
untill every thing faded away

i live in hell
guess you were just a tease
like all the others
never for me
just a lease
and gone
when all falls apart

i cursed myself
long ago
and now i am reaping
just what i sow

oh well
hell
now i fell

and i will
again and again
when there is nothing
to die for

i would have died for you
if you just asked
i would have
but you wasted me
you don't think my death is a good thing
when all i do
is the pain i bring
who will ask me to die
for you i would
you did not ask
when you should

maybe one day
there will be
some one
who will ask
and i can
accept this task

will you be disapointed?
you were not the one
will you be pissed
i did it for some one else ?
some one not worthy in your eyes
some one who will not cry
when the monster dies ?

maybe
you will not even know
that i have died
with your faith that you have tried
with the knowledge i have lied
you will not know of my death
even if it is your name
on my last breath

i cursed myself
a long time ago
guess you were never interested
you never wanted to know

this morning
i was sick to the stomach
i should have quit
end it all
leave this hell hole shit
but i stayed
without remorse
because i know
i will die
some day
when there is no one left
that will cry

liefdesverdriet
08 dec 2004 - meld ongepast verhaal
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