It hurts...
um.. m here! what to say...too much actually. i have never had difficulty in explaining what i feel but these days it seems the hardest thing for me.
been wanting to bring changes to my life, all sorts of possible changes.
u know the thing that bothers me most these days are my friends, my closest friends. i am totally away from them but i never thought a day would come when i wonder if they actually even remember me. of course, i know they have their own lives and all but don't we need each other too? i miss them... miss them a lot. wanna talk to them but hardly get any replies to my mails.
if they get to read this i wanna say this... i am sorry, i am sorry for always wanting the impossible but i forgot that there is a reason for every existence and the word impossible does exist. i always thought we'll always be there for each other through our hard times. we'd always keep in touch, share what's going on in our own lives. i thought no matter how far we are the distance wont affect the bond that we share. it seems to me now that the bond never existed and all i have been trying to do was force you guys into something that you all never wanted. anyway for me, whenever i imagine my important people you guys are always there...never changing...never fading. Go on with your lives and i wish forever happiness to u all.
whenever i have been in love i never got it back and when i was loved it was then, that i never wanted or rather by whom i wanted to be loved i never was except by them to whom i couldn't return it. altogether it has always been hurting others and getting hurt. maybe its because of that, that now even though i love my husband, i don't feel like i am in love with him. there was a time when i was madly in love with him and felt him as my soul mate with all my heart. but, as always when i loved him he couldn't return it and now when he is head over heels in love with me i don't feel the same way as i did before. he is so caring and like the perfect husband and i want to feel and give him everything... i wish i could fall in love with my husband again!!!
been wanting to bring changes to my life, all sorts of possible changes.
u know the thing that bothers me most these days are my friends, my closest friends. i am totally away from them but i never thought a day would come when i wonder if they actually even remember me. of course, i know they have their own lives and all but don't we need each other too? i miss them... miss them a lot. wanna talk to them but hardly get any replies to my mails.
if they get to read this i wanna say this... i am sorry, i am sorry for always wanting the impossible but i forgot that there is a reason for every existence and the word impossible does exist. i always thought we'll always be there for each other through our hard times. we'd always keep in touch, share what's going on in our own lives. i thought no matter how far we are the distance wont affect the bond that we share. it seems to me now that the bond never existed and all i have been trying to do was force you guys into something that you all never wanted. anyway for me, whenever i imagine my important people you guys are always there...never changing...never fading. Go on with your lives and i wish forever happiness to u all.
whenever i have been in love i never got it back and when i was loved it was then, that i never wanted or rather by whom i wanted to be loved i never was except by them to whom i couldn't return it. altogether it has always been hurting others and getting hurt. maybe its because of that, that now even though i love my husband, i don't feel like i am in love with him. there was a time when i was madly in love with him and felt him as my soul mate with all my heart. but, as always when i loved him he couldn't return it and now when he is head over heels in love with me i don't feel the same way as i did before. he is so caring and like the perfect husband and i want to feel and give him everything... i wish i could fall in love with my husband again!!!
06 mrt 2010
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