Packing up my life

Pictures, dishes and socks
It's our (my) whole life down to one box
There he was waving goodbye
On the front porch alone

But I was already gone, I was already gone
I was already gone
I was already gone, I was already gone

Hangout, make lots of noise
And layout late with a boy
Make the mistakes that she made
Life is a runaway train

My mama mapped out the road that she knows
Which hands to shake, which hands you hold
In my hand-me-down Mercury
Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on

I am at my dad's house packing up my whole life, deciding what to take, what to leave, and what to trash. I can't help but to looking at things as I pack remembering the past and wondering what the future will bring. I can only take what I can fit into a 5 by 5 storage there isn't much I can fit. My dream bed that I saved and bought on my own, a a dresser, a small couch bed and a rocketing chair I really want to keep but something might have to go, my clothes, pictures, and small stuff. I cannot take much. I wish I could do magic and pack up my life into one box it would be much easier. However it will stay in my grandma storage until Matt and I get our own place in a few months maybe the end up May or sometime in June or July. If Matt and I break up before then I'll move into my Grandma, if the people who she is renting her place from lets me move it. My dad should be home soon, I have to go talk to him about moving out. I have to say my drug addict sister is very happy I am moving out, she does not have to pay rent and looking forward to my room which I had to pay rent for. The apartment that I love is going to be fully a crack house within a week or two of moving out. I can't help but to wonder when I will be planning my father and my sister funeral because they OD. There is nothing I can do about it. I feel hopeless but if I stay I know I will be sucked into that life that I do not what. Hopefully things start looking up, I am so sorry of feeling depressed and one bad event after another.